Step Off the Platform

Let’s start with an embarrassing story from a few years ago -

My 50th birthday was fast approaching. Getting the “what do you want to do’s” from the parents, Husband and friends. I had no big ideas, and the thought of turning 50 a few weeks out didn’t bother me at all. I mean, I know you are as old as you think and 50 is just a number so I went about my business. That getting crazy about turning 50 is for other people. 

Three days before my birthday I asked Husband to take us somewhere. I decided I didn’t want to miss out on feeling special on a special day. Husband is the best and off he went to surprise me. 

TWO days before my birthday Husband says we are going to a Bed and Breakfast in Mt. Dora, FL. It’s cute, look at the pictures, he says. I look. I freeze. I panic.

The Bed and Breakfast is cute and something out of a horror movie. By that I mean, lace and mauve and faux flowers and everything a little old lady would think was cute and adorable. I couldn’t breathe. What I knew in that moment, was that I was going to be 50 and I DID NOT want to wake up in an old lady bedroom. I COULD NOT greet my 50’s with lace and mothballs and babydolls. 

Understand, none of this is logical but I had a complete panic attack. I didn’t want to make Husband upset (he had done exactly what I asked on short notice), the place was non refundable ( and not cheap).  I had this vice grip on my lungs that wasn’t allowing me to breathe because I DID NOT WANT TO GO THERE. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BE 50!

Now you may say I was overreacting and you’d be right. As I talked it out to my BFF it started to make more sense. I told her I loved my 40s. All the best things happened. I was just chugging along, doing the things I was supposed to be doing working, traveling, going week to week, month to month. I was on the train, zooming by all the train stations and all the sudden, the train stops, you get kicked out and you are standing on the platform marked “Welcome to Your 50s”. You step out, look around, pause. 

On this platform, you realize if there is something you want to or have to do with your life, you better figure it out STAT because time is slipping away. When you hit your 50’s it starts going even faster. If you step back on that train without a clear plan, then you are stepping back on a bullet train. 

50 doesn’t mean you are old, it doesn’t mean you are put out to pasture, but it does smack you in the face and say “listen up”. And I think that is a VERY good thing. How often do you take stock, look at the map, see if you are going in the direction that you want to go?

So what happened?  My BFF, Bean and her Husband took the room as an early birthday present for her. They enjoyed the weekend. Husband and I went out for dinner, had a lovely day. As for the panic, the pause? I started building plans in my head. Those plans led to us buying another bus, a Wanderlodge. We sold our home, live in the Wanderlodge, now have a home in Florida and Georgia near the Appalachian Trail and have a bright future that we both are excited about.